Where Have I Gone?
Is throwing ourselves into business the best way to deal with pain and rejection?
Probably not, but so many of us do it because it is easier than face the fact that we are building something positive… with no one to share it with.
We work long hours, enjoy — even love the ‘work’ we do…
And yet, on days like today, the pain of rejection, trauma, and loneliness creep up and punch us in the face like a Mac truck on steroids hitting a sparrow.
In today’s world where family and friends are scattered far and wide, we don’t even have someone to call who can pop round and dance away in the kitchen with us having a kitchen rave.
So we put the tunes on, and it all starts off well, and then a tune drops and you are reduced to a pile of messy tears on the floor wondering why you are on your own,
When you are a kind, beautiful, and loving woman who has so much love to give and have faced more dark nights of the soul, than should be allowed for anyone.
But this is your life, a life where after a really challenging day, you end up making dinner for one, making your own cup of tea and picking yourself up off the floor.
Yes, we could go to the pub and pick up a random stranger and have them fuck our brains out,
But when you don’t drink, understand sovereignty, and have a list of non-negotiables which you know you won’t find sitting in the pub alone at the bar,
You just have to keep trusting that the man you are destined to be with is also making his way to you,
And one day soon, you’ll discover one another in the most surprising of ways and it will be the most magical, surprising and loveliest kind of love, life and joy that you always knew was out there but was just too afraid to believe that it could be for you.
The fact that the power of a full moon hits on the first day of spring and you start your periods and are in the throes of the menopause also doesn’t really help.
And it is on days like this that you want that Divine man to just wrap his arms around you, wipe away your tears, and just hold you.
Holds you until everything with the world just feels right again.
No words.
Just holding you in silence.
And as you pull away from one another, and all your broken bits are put backtogether,
He kisses you on your forehead, then on the lips, tells you to go sit down and makes you a cup of tea, just the way you like it.
Disappearing into these dark moments, you wonder where the fun woman went.
You know she’s in there, she was there yesterday, and the day before, motivating others and building them up, dancing around the kitchen, giggling away to the daily workout,
Which you can’t even muster the energy to do today,
So you just listen to the music, cry the tears that need to fall, and release the build-up emotions of the day.
You know the challenges of the day are taking you to the next, next level of your life, and your business is the vehicle which will get you there,
Which is why you give it so much,
And want a man who gets it,
A man who understands the challenges of building an empire,
Who understands these confronting moments,
Who understands why you are the way you are,
And wants to be the warrior who stands by your side as you rise in your power,
As he rises in his…
Because to rise and live alone is no longer an option you are willing to accept;
But you know you just have to hold on that little bit longer,
Be that little bit more patient,
And just keep believing in yourself,
Your vision,
Your power,
And your dream partner,
Because he is out there.
You know he is.
He has to be,
Because you know that the Universe wouldn’t have given you all these hard life lessons and beautiful gifts,
This feminine greatness,
To keep all of yourself to yourself,
And not have a divine man to enjoy all of life,
All of love with.
The Universe is not that cruel.
The Universe is the best of planners.
And the Universe doesn’t make mistakes.
So you turn down the noise of your pain,
And turn up the volume on your soul.
You trust.
Believe.
And just keep going,
Keep dancing,
Because there is no other choice.
